Things I Find Funny

People that drive down the road with their blinkers on and no intention to turn anywhere any time soon.

That BP sponsors team USA.

Birds that fly into one another.

McDonald's thinks it can make coffee.

The saying "use your noggin."

People that laugh in tense, awkward, sad, or important situations.

The movie Fired Up.

Google + thinks it can outdo facebook.

That outdo is one word.

The sound of a basoon.

Playing "dodge the frog" while driving on a warm, wet night.

People that make their tires squeal because they thinks it's cool.

People that use the wrong their, they're, or there (also applies to the inncorrect usage of you're & your as well).

Dogs that chase cars down the road when a car is coming straight at them in the other lane.

Accidental rhyming.

When a guy is crying at a movie and I'm not.

The letter P.

Abbreviations like "totes", "adorbs", "presh", "offish", "legit", "preesh", and "def".

Why Beating Around the Bush is Pointless

First of all, I don't get that saying... beating around the bush. What are you beating? The physical perimeter of the bush, or the ground around the bush? Why are you beating the bush? What did it ever do to you? And then when you try to apply it to what it means.... is there something in the bush? Like are you beating around it so that whatever is inside will come out? <--- that's also pointless because if you were hiding in a bush and someone was outside beating around, would you come out? No.

But yeah, anyway. "Beating around the bush" is pointless. I don't do it. I figure if you want to tell someone something say it straight. Also, I go to school with a lot of very stupid people (not those of you who read this blog... well, maybe some of you :P) and they don't understand it when you try to "beat around the bush", you have to frankly lay it on them or they will be confused forever.

Beating around the bush is a weird saying and completely pointless for breaking news to someone.

That's all I've got.

How to Run on No Sleep At All

Morning
Coffee is essential.
Make sure you eat a good breakfast, blah blah blah. Just as long as you drink coffee with it.
Don't take too long in the shower, you might fall asleep (hot water does that to people, and it makes them pee but that's besides the point) and your coffee will be cold.

Afternoon
At lunch eat something with protein in it, go to lunch with friends, they can make sure you don't fall asleep.
Also at lunch, drink something with caffeine in it.... like coffee or coke or something, but coffee is your best bet. 

Night 
Don't eat dinner, the starving hunger in your stomach will keep you awake.
Make sure you put your  coffee maker on delay so you have something to look forward to. 
What ever you do, don't watch TV or listen to music that is sure to make you fall asleep. Try just standing on your head and drinking coffee. 

OMG its Cold Everybody Freak Out.

It finally got cold this weekend and the world almost died. People are walking around in sweaters and boots, it's only like 65 degrees! Sure I welcomed the opportunity to wear some jeans and a jacket but did I break out my parka? NO.

A couple of my friends organized this corn maze thing. I didn't go... It isn't technically fall yet, that is completely inappropriate. A bunch of people have pumpkins and junk on their porches. It's the fourth day of October guys... chill it. Now, I don't celebrate Halloween, but if I did I would put my decoration out the day of and take them down the morning after. One of my biggest pet peeves are those people that just leave their Halloween decorations up until it is time to switch them with the Christmas ones... nubs.

But yeah so it's cold and everybody is running around like a chicken with their head cut off. I wonder what they're gonna do when it's 40 degrees or 30 degrees. Should be fun to watch.

Fair Food Fundamentals

Every year My family and I go the North Carolina State Fair about 5 or 6 times... yeah it's that big of a deal. The main reason is all the fantastic food. My list is as follows:

- deep fried snickers bar.
- cattleman's association steak sandwich.
- corn on the cob.
- turkey leg (must be eaten first in order to achieve maximum consumption).
- chocolate covered strawberries (at least 4 times... a visit).
- NC State ice cream.
- funnel cake (although I don't really like these, they are a classic).
- Al's fries (con mucho vinagre).
- party in a pita (there is no more of an explanation).
- milk (so simple, so necessary).
- 1lb of candy from the candy castle.

P.s. thank you Raz Darnell for the idea :)

Commercials That Drive me Nuts

I watch way too much TV... and although I have a DVR, I a lot of time forget to fast forward and end up suffering through the commericals anyway. So here are some particularly annoying ones that have been playing lately... well not really that lately.

WHY does the announcer person in this commercial have a fake Russian (or the general area of the world) accent??! How is that "manly" or "boy-ey"?... whatever is supposed to attract boys. What do squinkies even do? Apparently stick to massive amounts of hair gel, and... be squishy? I don't UNDERSTANDDDD.

This one drives me (you're gonna love my) nuts in a GOOD way. "Stop having a boring tuna stop having a boring life"... regular tuna = your whole life is boring... get with it people. "Fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini" because those last two are nothing without some good grated cheese. "We're gonna make America skinny again one slap at a time"... sounds brutal but hey, when you have an opportunity like this why wouldn't you ask about the foldable cutting board??

These are the worst commercials ever. These are the ones that make me remember that I'm not fast-forwarding. But once I realize that I feel like I can't fast forward because it's even more cruel to the animals. It's a terrible cycle. I understand that commercials like this are supposed to evoke emotion and junk. And maybe in any normal person it would but (as I have been told) I am a stone cold robot and the only emotion coming out of me is hatred for the guilt they are making me feel. But, I pride myself in the fact that I have never succumb to these terrible commercials

For your enjoyment:

Bahaha!

Okay just one more I swear:

Alright alright! I'm done!

My TV is Back

School has been back in session for probably about 3 weeks-ish, and while the homework started flowing and we got our laptops back it did start feel like school. But now it feels completely familiar because all my TV is back. Yeah, the stuff I think about all day long instead of Lincoln, functions, and step changes. It makes fall seem real, even though it's still 90 million degrees outside, I like to pretend cool weather will come eventually even though freezing cold just blasts us sometime mid-November.My TV shows are what keep me going, having a new one to watch almost every night is what keeps me going during the day and contemplating the one from the night before keeps me awake. I really probably wouldn't be passing school in general if it weren't for television. That's a bit backwards but it works.

Parenthood starts tomorrow, Survivor premieres Wednesday, and eventually Lie to Me, House, The Amazing Race, The Big Bang Theory, and Dancing With the Stars (my viewage of this particular show solely depends on the cast) will come back. I can't wait!! :D

How to be Awesome

This a list I have created with succesful tips on how to be a truly awesome person. Now we are not going by a dictionary definition of awesome, we are going by my definition (which is basically anything I personally think is awesome... so yeah).

Step 1: Have a rockin' knee high sock collection. And don't just collect them, wear them, wear them proudly and loudly. Make sure most of them are adorned with neon colors so bright they faintly glow while the sun is going down. Make sure you have at least 3 pairs of animal print in at least 2 different kinds of animal. And don't EVER wear them with sandals.

Step 2: Have an awesome lunch box. For those of you still in school this is a key ingredient of awesomeness. Mine is shaped like an elephant, my favorite animal. It's not a requirement that your lunch box be an animal, superheroes and fun patterns are acceptable just be sure it doesn't have an attachable water bottle, thats lame.

Step 3: Watch Phineas and Ferb, iCarly, and The Nine Lives of Chloe King regularly. These shows rock. Phineas and Ferb is the best cartoon EVER made, it has humor waaay above that of it's projected audience. And they just came out with a movie, it was EPIC. iCarly is also hilarious, when I watch it by myself I find myself laughing out loud and feeling like a dork, but thats just how you know it is genuinely funny and it isn't just the laugh track commanding you to laugh. The Nine Lives of Chloe King is too intense for you NOT to watch it, ABC Family Tuesdays after PLL.

Step 4: Have funny t-shirts. Comical dinosuars and t.v. show shout outs are required. Do not be fooled by the rock, paper, and scissors that have come to life, those were so last year.

Step 5: Have at least 2 pairs of high top sneakers. One in a pattern, otherwise all versions are acceptable.

Step 6: Don't be afraid. Don't be a weenie, and most certainly do not complain. Ride roller coasters that go straight up and down, eat octopus, and don't back out of anything that could potentially be awesome.

Step 7: Never have a favorite. Don't favor anything like movies, food, or books. There are too many awesome choices to pick just one, like them all and when people ask you what your favorite is kick them.

Step 8: Be violent. (Don't actually be violent just threaten people with a serious look on your face so that they back away in belief).

Step 9: Use big words. Being awesome is also a part of being smart, dumb people make me cringe. Use your vocabulary to it's fullest extent and you will go far in life. It's more than that though, keep up to date on your math skills and when someone asks a math question answer quickly with a smug look, everyone will think you are a genius. And if someone questions you refer to the step above.

Step 10: Listen to good music. Good music is as follows: Ke$ha, Miike Snow, Ghostland Observatory, Katy Perry, Bowling for Soup (they sing the Phineas and Ferb theme song), Justin Bieber (ONLY NEVER SAY NEVER WITH JADEN SMITH, NOTHING MORE), Adele, B.o.B, Early Black Eyed Peas not that junk they produce now, and anything along these lines.

Now with these 10 simple rules you can succeed at being awesome, good luck!

Peru

The main event Machu Picchu. It was spectacular.

This is the Madre de Dios river surrounded by the amazon jungle (or 'selva' if you want to get technical) from the plane. 

The river up close. And a boat for your enjoyment. The exact same kind we rode to our lodge (a 3 hour ride :/).

This is the capital city, Lima. Claro is like At&t over there their buildboards are everywhere!

A capybara from the jungle!

Our lodge.

We went to a clay lick at sunrise where we were supposed to see a ton of mcaws (possibly the most beautiful birds in the world, I have an obession with them now) and other parrots and stuff but it was cloudy and that effects their sight so we just just saw them all fly around from a distance.

A gigantic kapok tree, they can get a mile high, this is just the base of it.

The city square in Cusco the old Inca capital. The name of the city was originally Cosco which means bellybutton, fitting since this was the center of their world.

Beautiful flowers in the city square.

Saqsawaman (pronounced sexy woman) an old temple those rock are gigantic and held together without mortar, just an interlocking system, like giant complex legos.

A parade we happened upon.

Ruins from somewhere, I don't remember.

A fountain in Lima.

Tile wall in Lima.

City square in Lima.

Cathedral in Lima.

Flowers in Miami, we had a day layover.

Miami flowers.

Miami plants.

I hope that this was interesting to you. I realize now that most of the pictures were of the jungle but that was probably my favorite part.



My Mind

This is a book I am required to read for summer reading. Which sadly I just started yesterday. It is pretty good so far, but the dialog takes a long time to get used to. I can't really understand what is going on but I'm powering through it.

I haven't picked up clarinet all summer long and I am supposed to have my music (3 whole songs) memorized by the start of next week for marching band... Yikes.

The Avengers... OMG! This is actually going to be a movie! I am ssoooo excited! I just went to see captain america last night and the trailer for this played at the very end... This is sure to be epic! Captain America was really good by the way.

School starts in 2 weeks and I am super excited to start my junior year! If only my report card could look like this all year long. That would be a dream. Mainly the only thing exciting about school starting are school supplies... I LOVE school supplies, who knows why. I really should have put this picture instead...

you can't sit there and say thats not exciting!

I recently got my license and this is the beauty of a boat I have been blessed with of driving, a 1996 green Buik La Sabre. I get to drive myself to school this coming year, which no doubt is exciting except for the fact I have to drop my brother off at middle school first. 5:30 every morning here I come.